4 Unexpected Places You Can Pump Discreetly
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Once you’ve had a baby, your definition of modesty changes because a lot of people have been up in your lady business in a really un-sexy way. But in the workplace, modesty matters, and there is something really exposed-feeling about someone – anyone – seeing you hooked up to what is essentially farm equipment. Here are the top-secret four places you wouldn’t expect to give you privacy when pumping…don’t tell anyone (except every other working mother you meet).
1. A bathroom stall
- Before your first baby: “I would NEVER make food for my baby in a bathroom.”
- 6 months into pumping at work: “Have you tried that bathroom on the 3rd floor? It’s amazing for pumping. Clean counters and electrical outlets IN THE STALLS!”
Nobody wants to pump in a bathroom, but it’s totally gonna happen. If you end up in a stall, you can stand up, hang your pump from the back-of-the-door hook, and run the thing on its battery pack. If you want to sit, keep Post-It notes in your pump bag and use one to cover the automatic flush sensor so the toilet doesn’t keep flushing on your butt.
2. A storage closet
Hack this thing. Get a tension rod and hang it, and a curtain, inside the door. That will buy you time to yell “don’t come in!” if someone opens the door. Liberate a chair to live in there, too. And if you feel really rogue, grab a screwdriver and install a simple latch and combo lock on the inside of the door so you can lock yourself in. Don’t ask permission for this: just do it.
3. Your airplane seat
Seriously. This sounds crazy, but the white noise of an airplane is LOUD. And people are actively trying not to look at or interact with each other. Wear layers, and wrap yourself in a big shawl. Use a battery pack and get yourself set up under the shawl, and go for it. Cap the bottles and throw the pump parts into a Ziploc bag and throw them all back in your pump bag without worrying about washing until you’re on solid ground.
4. Your car
Pumping While Driving (PWD) is many working mothers’ reality. Some women even enjoy it because they aren’t watching the clock and it feels like amazing multitasking. You have to be really careful to set up before you start driving, so you are driving super safely. Get a good pumping bra and a “hooter hider” nursing cover. Get tall pump bottles so they can rest on your thighs. Set up the pump tubes so you won’t accidentally rip them out with your arm movements. Use a battery pack or a car power adapter. And when you’re done, turn the machine off and either pull over to get everything put away, or drive onwards with those crazy things hanging off of your body. Don’t attempt to disassemble while you’re driving.